Say what?

You know those great experiences when you call an 800 number of a major corporation, get an answer after two rings and speak with someone who likely went to Harvard on a full ride scholarship as an English major? Yeah, me neither. 

But even after a fifteen minute hold for a "fraud protection agent" with Bank of America, I still hung up smiling. First, they caught unauthorized charges that could have really been a huge bummer for someone 50ish days away from a wedding. And second, because the agent I spoke with provided me with some unexpected laughs. 

My day started with a text-- the bank had put a temporary hold on my card while investigating several large transactions. No surprise there. Between purchasing wedding invitations, two nights in an upscale Carmel hotel, and my daughters enormous hair accessory collection, there were some out-of-the-ordinary transactions in recent days. But 15 minutes later I had a phone call. At noon. Who could be calling so early? Don't they realize I have a baby? And an episode of Real Housewives to catch up on? Anyhow, unlike 97% of the phone calls I get, I actually answered this one. And I'm glad I did. It was a recording that let me know "my call is very important to Bank of America and a representative would be available to speak with me in 13 minutes". 

Wait. 

You called ME. 

But I held. And held. And held a wee bit more. Hey, BofA, if I had a handful of spare minutes in my day don't you think I would shave my legs? 

The terrible music and annoyingly upbeat service announcements were finally interrupted by a soft spoken southern belle. She spoke with such a drawl that I pictured her sipping sweet tea on a large wrap around porch while her children catch fireflies in mason jars left over from canning peach preserves from the fruits picked on her family orchard that dates back to 1841. But the more we chatted it became apparent that she was probably homeschooled by a six year old and finally got her GED shortly before her 30th birthday. She was clearly reading from a sheet provided by the bank, and took frequent breaks to sound out words. Lit er uh lee. Sownd owwt wurds. Unless I was her very first phone call ever, you would think that even the "hard" words were made a bit easier by the fact that she has read them and recited them numerous times before. 

But then I had to get tricky on her and interrupt. I made her veer from her script and answer a question that not even the bank had prepared her for. 

"Does it say where the transaction occurred?"

"It does, but it happened someplace I can't even pronounce. So I will spell it for you. 

B. A. N. G. L. A. D. E. S. H."

"Yeah. That is absolutely not me. I haven't left my house today."

"Not even early this morning? The withdrawal was very early."

"Uh, no. I was not in Bangladesh this morning."

Our conversation continued and she even asked if one week ago I had authorized a $5 purchase at "Kay Zert"? Translation: Kaiser. I know because she also spelled this tough one out when I sounded stumped. 

Of course I am elated to have them working to help me quickly identify fraudulent purchases, pleased that the money was promptly put back in my account, and very happy that I had just the experience I needed to reenter the world of blogging. Sorry for the hiatus. I've been busy. But not in Bangladesh.