Cut the Cheese

I love my kid. So much so that I really don't want her to get food poisoning from old breast milk that I keep in the fridge for far too long because rinsing it down the drain would just break my heart. Anyone who has pumped for a child knows that it ain't no joke when they call breast milk "liquid gold". And once the pumped milk is poured into individual baggies and frozen into perfect little brick forms, that liquid gold has just become shiny, valuable bullion. Mine looks so pretty there in the freezer, all organized by date with the ounces boldly written for all to admire. Yes, my milk is a source of pride for me. My kid is getting every ounce of nourishment her growing body needs from ME. But sometimes my baby is stubborn and does not enjoy this frozen breastmilk. In fact, she is so unimpressed by if that she refuses to drink it in its thawed form. To date, she has turned her nose up at defrosted breastmilk offered in SIX different bottles. This girl knows what she wants and the pitch of her protesting screams suggests she knows how it get it. But she's met her match in me and I, too, know what I want: to not waste my precious milk! It is suggested that once milk has been thawed it needs to be used in 4 hours which means I needed to either find a way to get my kid to drink or I needed to get creative. So I hit the Internet to research ways to not let my milk go to waste. 

Breastmilk Soap: interesting but I only have 1 of 8 the ingredients on hand. Milk. 

Breastmilk Milkshake: even I don't have that big of a sweet tooth.

Breastmilk Alfredo Sauce: Mark would never forgive me.

Breastmilk Bath Time: well, this could work...

Because of the super high fat content of breastmilk, it is said that adding it to bath water can leave skin feeling supple and soft. I thought to myself, "it couldn't hurt to try..." And truth it is didn't hurt. But it did smell. Terrible. I humbly admit that people are always commenting on how great Sweet P smells. And now I find her splashing around in a tub filled with perfectly warmed water, lavender baby wash, and breastmilk. Stinky breastmilk. Could this be the first time in history that a child got out of the bath smelling WORSE than before she went in? And truth be told, at five months old P's skin is so silky smooth that I couldn't tell the difference. My theory is this: the breastmilk is not the ingredient to cause such beautifully soft skin. It is the loads of scented lotion you must apply after bath time to keep yourself from carrying around a child who smells like bleu cheese crumbles. So back to the drawing board I go for inspired ways to use some milk. And consider yourself warned-- you may not want to accept the sour dough bread starter kit I have coming your way.